My life is tumblr

My fucking life is tumblr, great. I sank in grunge and pastel 90s-styled ocean of pictures and screens, forgetting about real-life sucking situations and problems that are islands of reality in the oceans of virtual world. Can we reblog beauty in real life? Can we click like when somebody attracts us? No. Internet gives us confidence and happiness. But is this happiness real, not virtual?
My mom broke my smartphone few days ago because all my time i spend in it. But what should i do? Its summer, i have no friends here in Lithuania, nothing to do. My parents think that i waste my time, but all teenagers 'waste' time on Net. I want to die, fuck.
My life is tumblr, and you don' t understand me

society and i

I love Virgin suicides. I love chewing strawberry gum and wearing heart-shape sunglasses. I love Sylvia Plath and I love fuck everything. I love dying, that is an art. I love many things that are strange.
Each of people in the world think they are extraordinary. But they lie to themselves. Stamped brains limited with common sence and "smart" ideas. We all are create by God to do mechanically biological things. But i want my life being a poem, a life that is worth of being stamped on autobiographic book.
oh i am going to fuck my life

hi summer

Hi summer, nice to meet you. Hi movies and books, hi loneliness and endless blog writing. Well hi.
To tell the truth I hate school, where i am not understood by some (every, anyway) guys who are completely, incurable, monstrously ORDINARY and STUPID. This two words written in capital are equally fearful for me, I am a girl not so typical for high and middle school (from another planet) and I have veeeeeeeery strict criteria to select friends. Don't worry, I am sure you match brilliantly to be my friend :).
I hate school, anyway. It appears to be a prison, colony of strict regime, house of groups... But I miss it, however. School is coloring my weekdays between weekends, and i thank a lot this house of fears and obsessions, passions and physics. ]: And hope you have brriiiiiiiliant summer that fills your diaries with events and feelings :)

babydoll

society kills the teenager

I have been thinking of this summer of sadness and my depressive pastel emotions as an entrance in the new world, and this was very strange. What am I talking about? Fuck. I forgot. How nice.

Blue is the warmest color, french film about two homosexual lovers that has won the main award, is one of the films I am most waiting for, and the theme of homosexuality as a mortal sin (according to Bible) or as the most beautiful love (according to Abdellatif Kechiche) again crept into my brains, and feeling strange and philosophic I tried to find out why it's good and bad to be homosexual in real world. 1. other people. 2. God. 

God is against homosexuality, but he's in favor of love. Strange?

Now there is no stereotypes about being a gay, but maybe I am not right because orientation in high school is an unsteady and shaky theme. I am talking about false plaing priorities in high schools, where popularity and success means 'hot' body, knockout boyfriend and fashionable clothes Gucci or Prada. Where are brains and interests, where does they hiding? We look outside, not inside, we bend over to have clean skin and 10000000000000000000 shoes, forgetting about being Pretty on the Inside (Hole's album). Homosexulity is the thing that makes my classmates scared, but this is brilliant! OMG, how stupid are homophobes that think that homoseuality is BAD, fuck.

UGLY GIRLS CLUB

Well hi, bloggers and readers. It's going to be summer, and I have already done some rituals (Virgin Suicides rereading, thrift stuff buying etc), and you know this June there will be new Sofia Coppola film called 'The Bling Ring' with Emma Watson in cinemas! Also I am trying to write a list 'What I should (no, MUST) do this fucking summer', but Iforgot every points and threw away unfinished list. I said to mysef that this summer should be spontaniosly spent.

This moodboard made in girly-fluffy-cute style will be my last spring station. 

from Skins

From unknown

from Virgin suicides

unknown

young Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeo di Caprio

Winona Ryder fom Edward Scissors Hands

me and the stream of feelings

I am looking forward to the HOLIDAYS and new Marina and the Diamonds' album, and also to the enslavement of the Universe by feminism (however this, i don't want the feminism to be mainstream). I am obsessed with stupid serials, putting rubbish in my brains, and I think this happened because my own life isn't as interesting as I want it to be. I listen to Dum Dum Girls, Hole, TEENS and Kate Nash, reread Virgin Suicides (it's like ritual for me), and watched some films, and these mean that I have my life organised like other days, but I want a DRAMA! 

I've been doing nothing this week and the next, sure, will be too. I write in my blog and diary, spend some time on tumblr to find rare photos, read books, watch tv shows and cause a great confusion in my brains full of feminism, Ghost World, indie-pop and r'n'b, summer, lipstick by MAC and other teen stuff like i had listed above. OMG<

And also i am going to the International Vilnius American School, where I will take my classes in ENGLISH!!!! You can't understand my feelings because you, sure, never lived in Russia for whole life, speak Russian with your parents and classmates, and now our family is moving to Lithuania (little country in east europe, so little that you can't see it without microscobe :)), and I am going to learn in English, you hear, in English! I am totally tired of all my fucking feelings and emotions that give me on the one hand positive energy and on the another - PROBLEMS, and I am freaked out of so many buzzing thoughts and hysterical nervous nights dropping teardrops and laughs on the diary pages. 

I am enraged by my classmates thinking that I am nearly mad and strange because I am an ardent Feminist with so many obsessions about girl's rights and feminine but free lifestyle, and I stopped explaining what the feminism truly is, recalling on stupid brains full of lipstick not smart ideas of my dear 'friends'. Anyway I rewatched Ghost World and feminist and sarcastic mind of Enid inspired me to be more confident and look at feminism from another point of view. I was so enraged by people who imagine that feminism is The Great Evil that I didn't think what would happen if all the women were feminists/// It would be not WOW, because I don't want the Woman to be a robot. The girl Power isn't sexuality, but anyway feminism is understood not by all of women. And I would like to say that girls are powerul like boys, and we can't be infringed in our rights. 

This moodboard of pictures is made to show how important feminiism in real life can be.